M
mrsam
Guest
‘‘Don’t get pregnant’’ – was the only sex education I got from my mother when I had my first period at 14. She didn’t show me how to attach the sanitary pad to my panties, sanitary hygiene, use contraception – nothing. I learnt everything from the girls in school and the string of boyfriends that waltzed in and out of my life. I treated a few STDs with over the counter antibiotics during the learning process. Thank God I turned out alright.
My mother even pretended I was a virgin until marriage. A part of me knows that she knew I was already having sex even if we never discussed it. I was too embarrassed to dispute her claims when she publicly demanded wrappers and a white cock from my in-laws. She said it was her ‘’right’’ for giving them her virgin daughter. Always the gentleman, Furo stood by me and ensured my mother was given all she demanded. I felt mightily relieved when that phase ended. It would have been an embarrassing task explaining that I had 5 boyfriends before Furo proposed marriage, and that I had mastered the act of popping postinor pills like candies way before I got into university at 17.
Today, I’m at that point my mother was several years ago. My 13 year old daughter, Stephanie just had her first period. She knows how to use a sanitary pad and tampon – thanks to a revamped school curriculum, but I still have to do my bit as a mother by giving her a little sex education.
My Husband, Furo says it’s important I do it myself and not leave the job to the Guardian counsellors at her school. He says this is a chance to form a tighter mother-daughter bond. He would do it for me, but he feels that will be ineffective as she’ll be too embarrassed to listen.
When Stephanie was 6, she asked me where babies come from. Heavily pregnant with my second child at that time, I quipped, ‘’Heaven’’. She had insisted, ‘’How do they enter your stomach from heaven?’’
‘’Emm, emm,’’ I had stammered before Furo saved the day. ‘’It’s an adult secret,’’ he told her. Never one to give up, Stephanie asked, ”You’ll tell me when I become an adult?’’
‘’Promise,’’ Furo and I replied, glad to end the discussion. Now was the time to keep that promise. Stephanie already knows where babies come from, thanks to Biology class in school. My worry is how to explain the other dynamics involved in sex. Furo and I believe every child should get proper sex education and decide their path. Nonetheless, I’m worried if sex education will become her license to become promiscuous.
I know I need to discuss consent and safe sex with her. A part of me hopes she’ll be one of those girls who waits until marriage. I know she can’t have sex now because I keep really close tabs on her. I monitor almost everything she does, but she’ll be off to University by 16. How do I manage her from a distance when that time comes?
My friend, Joyce, says I don’t have to tell her everything all at once. I should take it gradually and promise more information as she grows older. Mercy thinks I should stick with the “Don’t get pregnant’’, we got from our mothers.
‘’She’ll figure out stuff on her own later,’’ Mercy said.
Adaku says I should tell her ‘’Men are scum, don’t let them touch you.’’ I call Adaku an angry feminist. Simi wants me to forget the whole sex talk and talk to her like a good Christian mother. Tell her sex before marriage is a sin. Tell her to honour God with her body.
How do I tell my daughter about Sex? Please help me.
My mother even pretended I was a virgin until marriage. A part of me knows that she knew I was already having sex even if we never discussed it. I was too embarrassed to dispute her claims when she publicly demanded wrappers and a white cock from my in-laws. She said it was her ‘’right’’ for giving them her virgin daughter. Always the gentleman, Furo stood by me and ensured my mother was given all she demanded. I felt mightily relieved when that phase ended. It would have been an embarrassing task explaining that I had 5 boyfriends before Furo proposed marriage, and that I had mastered the act of popping postinor pills like candies way before I got into university at 17.
Today, I’m at that point my mother was several years ago. My 13 year old daughter, Stephanie just had her first period. She knows how to use a sanitary pad and tampon – thanks to a revamped school curriculum, but I still have to do my bit as a mother by giving her a little sex education.
My Husband, Furo says it’s important I do it myself and not leave the job to the Guardian counsellors at her school. He says this is a chance to form a tighter mother-daughter bond. He would do it for me, but he feels that will be ineffective as she’ll be too embarrassed to listen.
When Stephanie was 6, she asked me where babies come from. Heavily pregnant with my second child at that time, I quipped, ‘’Heaven’’. She had insisted, ‘’How do they enter your stomach from heaven?’’
‘’Emm, emm,’’ I had stammered before Furo saved the day. ‘’It’s an adult secret,’’ he told her. Never one to give up, Stephanie asked, ”You’ll tell me when I become an adult?’’
‘’Promise,’’ Furo and I replied, glad to end the discussion. Now was the time to keep that promise. Stephanie already knows where babies come from, thanks to Biology class in school. My worry is how to explain the other dynamics involved in sex. Furo and I believe every child should get proper sex education and decide their path. Nonetheless, I’m worried if sex education will become her license to become promiscuous.
I know I need to discuss consent and safe sex with her. A part of me hopes she’ll be one of those girls who waits until marriage. I know she can’t have sex now because I keep really close tabs on her. I monitor almost everything she does, but she’ll be off to University by 16. How do I manage her from a distance when that time comes?
My friend, Joyce, says I don’t have to tell her everything all at once. I should take it gradually and promise more information as she grows older. Mercy thinks I should stick with the “Don’t get pregnant’’, we got from our mothers.
‘’She’ll figure out stuff on her own later,’’ Mercy said.
Adaku says I should tell her ‘’Men are scum, don’t let them touch you.’’ I call Adaku an angry feminist. Simi wants me to forget the whole sex talk and talk to her like a good Christian mother. Tell her sex before marriage is a sin. Tell her to honour God with her body.
How do I tell my daughter about Sex? Please help me.
